I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
