talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
