New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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