he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
