She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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