So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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