id be glad to
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
