I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
