I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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