Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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