anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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