Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize