Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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