she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize