ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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