we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
