so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
no, he came in my armpit
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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