I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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