how hairy? two words: wookie tits
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
