Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
zippers are such a cool invention
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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