Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
