My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
