would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
