Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
