At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
