Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
