I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
