just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
