It's like a parade of train wrecks.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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