yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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