omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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