Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
