Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize