I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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