oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
