Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think my vagina is haunted
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize