You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
