he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize