i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
