girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
