I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
