I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
