you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
