remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
