i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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