HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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