Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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