I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
