then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
