I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
