What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
