Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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