capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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