so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize