Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
