We need to rekindle our bromance
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize