On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
